"This is what I’m going to do. Every time a Knick game is supposed to be on, I’m going to drink whiskey in the dark and watch an old game on YouTube while suppressing thoughts of rage and ineptitude. I’m going to drink until I don’t have feelings anymore. I’m going to relive the glory days of my youth. Only you can stop this, David Stern. Only you can stop this, Amar’e Stoudemire. I’m begging you. Please. For my well-being, end the Lockout."

Will somebody hear Sal Pane’s plea? It has something to do with sports but I worry that it’s going to end in his death.