![Let me tell you the thing I hated most about the pilot of this show (the implication being, of course, that I hated quite a few things about the pilot of this show). The premise is that in some far-off fairy tale land, an evil witch puts a spell on the whole kingdom which sucks them out of their universe and into ours, because that will take away their happy endings, or something—which, I mean, sure. Except she also sucks herself into our universe (specifically, into a town in Maine called Storybrooke [!]) for reasons that are not yet clear, and adopts the second Bobby Draper, the hammier one, who turns out to be the biological child of a blonde bail bondsperson, who turns out to be Snow White’s daughter. Are you following all this? It’s not really important to either me or the show’s creators that you are. The point is that Storybrooke is populated entirely by fairy tale characters who don’t know they’re fairy tale characters—slutty Red Riding Hood, comatose Prince Charming, this guy as Rumplestiltskin—and the only one who knows is Bobby Draper, but no one is listening to him, because he’s Bobby Draper. He tracks down his birth mother because she’s the only one who can reverse the spell, and when she brings him back home, they bump into his therapist, who says something therapist-y, like “Don’t go to your dark space, Second Bobby Draper,” and when the therapist leaves, the blonde lady’s like, “So which fairy tale character is he?” and Bobby Draper says, “Jiminy Cricket” and that’s when we were all like, UGH OF COURSE, because ABC is owned by Disney and so what we’re working with here are Disneyfied fairy tales and not the emotionally perplexing, morally ambiguous originals, and Kevin was all, “Wait, this is what you hate most about this show?” because there were so many other options, like its terrible writing and production quality.
I’m going to watch the second episode, though, mostly because for some reason Storeybrooke has this British hipster sheriff? And I want to know what his deal is.](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltko73ts2p1qzlsfzo1_500.jpg)
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Let me tell you the thing I hated most about the pilot of this show (the implication being, of course, that I hated quite a few things about the pilot of this show). The premise is that in some far-off fairy tale land, an evil witch puts a spell on the whole kingdom which sucks them out of their universe and into ours, because that will take away their happy endings, or something—which, I mean, sure. Except she also sucks herself into our universe (specifically, into a town in Maine called Storybrooke [!]) for reasons that are not yet clear, and adopts the second Bobby Draper, the hammier one, who turns out to be the biological child of a blonde bail bondsperson, who turns out to be Snow White’s daughter. Are you following all this? It’s not really important to either me or the show’s creators that you are. The point is that Storybrooke is populated entirely by fairy tale characters who don’t know they’re fairy tale characters—slutty Red Riding Hood, comatose Prince Charming, this guy as Rumplestiltskin—and the only one who knows is Bobby Draper, but no one is listening to him, because he’s Bobby Draper. He tracks down his birth mother because she’s the only one who can reverse the spell, and when she brings him back home, they bump into his therapist, who says something therapist-y, like “Don’t go to your dark space, Second Bobby Draper,” and when the therapist leaves, the blonde lady’s like, “So which fairy tale character is he?” and Bobby Draper says, “Jiminy Cricket” and that’s when we were all like, UGH OF COURSE, because ABC is owned by Disney and so what we’re working with here are Disneyfied fairy tales and not the emotionally perplexing, morally ambiguous originals, and Kevin was all, “Wait, this is what you hate most about this show?” because there were so many other options, like its terrible writing and production quality.
I’m going to watch the second episode, though, mostly because for some reason Storeybrooke has this British hipster sheriff? And I want to know what his deal is.
